Final Snapshots

For the final newsletter, the Sound Bytes and Snapshots section are in a different format. The Sound Bytes are in the next section, Non-Governmental Organizations based in Tanzania. For the Snapshots section, I have included my journal entries for my last few weeks on the other side of the ocean.

July 2nd, 2010
I thought I was wealthy-
Then I saw people who allowed the Spirit to move them.
I thought I was privileged-
Then I learned about my blindness.
I thought I was positive-
Then I met people who made less than $100 per month to support
two people, lived away from their family and still shone with light.
I thought I was friendly-
Then I met the ELCSA Youth League members.
I thought I was strong-
Then I learned that true strength comes from letting go of control.
I thought I understood how to love selflessly-
Then I lived in an ubuntu culture.
I thought I was self-aware-
Then I realized how much I have grown and how self-centered I
have been.
I thought I knew how to live faithfully-
Then I watched others joyfully take leaps of faith.
I thought I lived through love-
Then I realized how much I analyze and strategize first.
I thought I was mature-
Now I realize how much I still have to learn.

July 2nd, 2010
Can you feel it? The Spirit – it is here!

July 11th, 2010
Luke 10:25-37 The Parable of the Good Samaritan
In many ways, they [my fellow church members for the last year] are my Samaritans. Helping me when I am lost (especially in the Zulu language), giving me food and lodging, and picking up the tabs.
I’m still in denial that I am leaving my family. Wow-I didn’t even hesitate to write, “my family”. Not “host family”, “family”. What am I doing-coming and leaving these communities? Yet, we’ll stay connected-in Christ, in love.

July 19th, 2010
I am here in this place, Tanzania. The people are warm. Their eyes lead to their souls. They say, “Karibu”, meaning you are welcome in Swahili. “Asante” we say in response, meaning thank you in Swahili.
July 26th, 2010
Wow. God. What are you doing in my life? I feel so blessed. As the DAR Express bus transports John and me back to Dar Es Salaam [the largest city in Tanzania] from Arusha, the last week seems to be a whirlwind of blessings. You took care of us every step of the way. We connected with amazing people in the most surprising places: the pastor played guitar and sang in the guest house yesterday with us; our housemates in Arusha, Mike and Sharon; ELCA missionaries; girls serving food on the street; all the people we ask for directions; people at the craft market… I feel connected. Wow. What amazing brothers and sisters I have. Now, how do we walk beside one another to make the world a better place-or allow ourselves to be tools of the Holy Spirit?  I feel more needs to be done on the US side of relations to ensure the system is not used to exploit people. Sigh-I see movies, documentaries, or people’s lives and want to do something, but I can’t do everything, nor am I called to. I don’t feel lost, I just don’t know what I am doing next. If you, God, guided me through this past week, then how could I not trust you to guide the rest of my life? God, please walk, or ride, with me every day.

“The Europeans came
They brought their modernity,
And made us dizzy.”
- a Swahili saying

July 28th, 2010
I’m reading Blue Like Jazz, which spurs in me many spiritual questions. Why do we attend church? Attending church solely via our bodies does no good-do we just attend to nourish our bodies? Or just our minds? If we want to be moved in mind, body and spirit-we need to engage with all three-not just stand and sing words, then leave. Plus church isn’t just about us-Christianity is about loving God and our neighbors. Does our church do social outreach? Do we help our neighbors?

July 29th, 2010
Sometimes I want God to speak to me in audible words. Then from somewhere inside I sense: “Isn’t this enough?” I look around at the beautiful nature around me and soak up the beauty and feel wonder. I lower my head with a smile and respond, “Yes, it is. Yes, it is.”

August 1st, 2010
“But more than anything else, put God’s work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well. Don’t worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.” - Matthew 6:33-34, the Gospel reading at Azania Front Lutheran Church in Dar Es Salaam

August 7th, 2010
I just want to cry. We went to the Apartheid Museum and then the Hector Peterson Museum about the 1976 Soweto uprising. Why. Why. Why can’t we see the humanity in other people? How can we hurt others? How do we put ourselves-our power-over the lives of others? How do we loose our humanity? What are we afraid of? And they [the people with “black skin”] smile back at us [the people with “white skin”]. Why would I ever want to leave [South Africa]? They [South Africans] welcome us [ELCA volunteers] with warm smiles that light up their faces. Why are they [those people not classified as “white” under the Apartheid government, particularly blacks] so resilient and forgiving? I do not feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for those who do not know their secret to life-not requiring power that oppresses others. These people around me were told that they were worth less than gold because of the color of their skin. Oh humanity. God, why do you give us such capacity? Yet, we defile your gifts by acting out our hatred. We deserve less. God, what good did you expect by giving us so much? Help us to overcome, overcome ourselves. The human spirit-where does the joy come from? – from you.

We Shall Overcome (an anthem of the US Civil Rights Movement)

We shall overcome, we shall overcome,
We shall overcome someday;
Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,
We shall overcome someday.

How do we call ourselves Christians when we do such awful things?

First victim…

A bullet burnt
Into soft dark flesh

A child fell

Liquid life
Rushed hot
To stain the earth

He was the first victim

And now
Let grieving the willows
Mark the spot
Let nature raise a monument
Of flowers and trees
Lest we forget the foul and the wicked deed…

Don Mattera, 1976, from “Azanian Love Song”

God. help me to serve your just and loving purpose. Help me to connect with people and empathize with their pain so we may empower one another to live life to its fullest-living love and growing from our mistakes and continually trying to right our wrongs. God, may I follow your will-wherever you guide me. May I live a life worthy of your calling-may I be willing to die for those gifts from above that give me life-love, peace, joy.  Thank you for the gift of love and showing me the light that shines in your people.

“Black consciousness seeks to instill the idea of self-determination to restore feelings of pride and dignity to blacks after centuries of racist oppression. It is an attitude of mind and a way of life. It is the realization that the most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” – Steve Biko

August 8th, 2010
And… we’re back at the Sunflower Bed and Breakfast [where the ELCA-YAGM South Africa 2009-2010 program stayed their first night in South Africa in August 2009]. Full circle. This is so weird. I’ll be back in the US in two days. Two days. Have I really lived in South Africa for one year? Did all that really happen? Was I living in a dream?
Geese are flying overhead-seasons are changing. Life is changing. Yet, I could not have asked for a better foundation for my life. God, what have you done in my life? You have given me gifts beyond my comprehension in wonderful people and challenges and inspirations. Hold my hand, please, over these next two days. 

Snapshots from June 1st to July 15th

- Attended the PACSA Annual General Meeting
- Walked with fellow YAGM volunteers in Alexandra and Soweto and attended an HIV+AIDS Workshop for a day in Johannesburg
- Felt many emotions while processing our experiences in South Africa with fellow volunteers at our last ELCA-MUD retreat
- Cheered while watching FIFA World Cup games at a couple of stadiums, a fan park and at home
- Worshiped at the Youth League Conference for the Umngeni Circuit
- Cut up meat and cleaned at the Women League Conference for the Umngeni Circuit
- Attended a Hindu ceremony that occurs six months after a person passes away
- Tried to express my thanks as I said goodbye to an Umngeni Circuit congregation and my home congregation, Dalton
- Learned at a PACSA workshop on women, climate change and energy
- Enjoyed interacting with year-long friends at the Synod Assembly
- Shared countless goodbyes

May Snapshots

- Young Adults Rally
- Attended “Electricity, Gender and Poverty”, a PACSA Presentation
- Observed a Food Basket focused discussion
- Enjoyed the beauty of the Land of 1,000 Hills
- Joined the family in celebrating a relative’s marriage with a “white” and “traditional” wedding
- Read a prayer at a service for peace in Israel and Palestine
- Led a devotion at PACSA

April Snapshots

- Hagen family adventure: Cape Town (Botanical Gardens; Dad, Ted and I jogged downtown; Cape Peninsula; climbed Table Mountain); boat ride through Santa Lucia wetlands; Hluhluwe (game drives, Nyala spotting, horse ride to investigate fossils, dung beetle observing, elephants); car ride through KwaZulu-Natal interior visiting Umphumulo to meet fellow YAGM, Kristen, and Cool Air to meet my host family; stop at PACSA to meet co-workers and advisor, Mervyn; attend four hour Maundy Thursday service; hike in Drakensburg with, fellow YAGMs, Kristen and John; and finally back to my host community, Cool Air, for a walk, braai (grill out), egg dying and two more services, including Easter Sunday, with my host family
- Bopha Siyakhona (a soccer camp, inspired by the FIFA World Cup, with youth from South Africa, Germany, DRC, and more) at Hilton College with PACSA
- HIV/AIDS Launch at Umphumulo
- Mozambique vacation, including meeting the US Public Affairs Officer in Mozambique and the Country Director of Mozambique for Samaritan’s Purse International Relief
- Attended the funeral and memorial service of my former fellow teacher

March Snapshots

- Visited a fellow YAGM volunteer in Port Elizabeth and observed his placement site at an at-risk children’s home and school
- Read Martin Luther King Jr.’s Strength to Love and, Nobel Prize in Literature winner, J. M. Coetzee’s Age of Iron
- Retreat in Cape Town included climbing Table Mountain, walking to the Southwestern most point of Africa (located on the Cape Peninsula), attending church at St. George’s Cathedral (where anti-Apartheid meetings took place), watching and being inspired by Africa Jam, walking around downtown Cape Town, and relaxing with fellow YAGMs
- Celebrated 200 days in South Africa
- HIV + Aids clinic
- Sat in on PACSA’s Economic Justice retreat
- Participated in PACSA’s Homosexuality conference
- Attended the ELCSA Men’s Prayer League revival
- Celebrated Human Rights Day on March 22nd
- Welcomed the Hagen family to South Africa on March 25th

January Snapshots

My host sisters and I often went for daily walks; apparently, when
we started going for walks, so did other people in Cool Air
Saw “Invictus” in theaters
Planned and led a youth retreat
Went to Durban for New Years and visited Juma Musjit Mosque,
beaches and the BAT (Bartel Arts Trust) Centre
Attended the first day at Dalton Primary School for 2010, where
the teachers greeted me with hugs
Sang “Siyahamba” walking home with Sunday School children
After spending a wonderful week with the Minnesota partners, I
typed 13,635 words in four days about meetings and experiences

Snapshots

*The goal of the snapshots section is to give you verbal pictures of my experiences in and perceptions of South Africa, which are limited and not representative of South Africa as a whole, just as my experiences in and perceptions of the US do not represent all of the US.
South Africa:
- Even though two Lutheran churches exist, based primarily on race differences, only one Lutheran Seminary exists where citizens of South Africa and other southern African countries attend
- The Lutheran church has different leagues for men, women, Sunday School, youth, young adults, and music, and members often wear their league uniform to church
- The structure of my Lutheran church has five layers
- An offering is taken specifically for communion costs
- On South Africa’s reality TV show, “Big Brother”, participants, from all over Africa, must speak in English
KwaZulu-Natal:
- Zulus use the same numbers as in English, which helps me find the scripture readings
- People often call the US, America
- People often react positively to hearing I’m from the US
My Community:
- Life here is similar to home: people wear Western clothes, have indoor plumbing and electricity, and, in my home, eat cereal, granola, and/or oatmeal for breakfast
- My community, Cool Air, was zoned for Indians prior to the end of the apartheid, so approximately one half of the population is Indian, most of the rest are Zulus, with a few other native tribes of South Africa, and a few coloreds (mixed race); I am the only Caucasian living in Cool Air
- Due to Cool Air’s mixed community, people often use English to communicate, most Indians speak English in their homes, and most people’s English is very good
- My sisters attend a school that primarily teaches in English
- My host family in Cool Air drives nicer cars than my family
- My host family irons their clothes everyday
- People more often throw wrappers on the ground
- People keep their houses very clean
- Children are nice to and friendly with me
- My host family knows no one in Cool Air who has the Internet capacity to send a file as large as this newsletter
Personal:
- I finished Desmond Tutu’s No Future Without Forgiveness
- I laughed and cried while watching “Blood Diamond”
- Most people who guess my age think I’m 16 or 17
- Almost daily, I run with my three younger host sisters and three young neighbors
- I created a schedule for myself at school so that teachers may sign up to have me teach in their class
- I eat curry fairly regularly
- A tapestry of Nelson Mandela hangs in my living room

September Snapshots

Surprises:
- Fences and/or low walls are around most houses
- Houses usually do not have basements
- Their bananas taste better
- The toilet is often in a different room from the sink and bath
- At first glance, Johannesburg (Joburg) looks like a US city
- Zulu food is mostly pepper free! (I am allergic to peppers)
- Most Zulu names are three syllables long
- South Africans drive on the left side of the road
- Having a housekeeper/nanny living with a family is more common than in the US
- Most Zulu women have hair extension appointments rather than haircuts

Personal:
- I have worn a fleece almost every day
- My sister’s friend asked me if I know the Jonas brothers
- From my room, I can see a field of sugarcane, which lies on the other side of my host family’s wall
- I finished Nelson Mandela’s A Long Walk to Freedom and Alan Paton’s Cry, the Beloved Country
- My host sisters and I play Sequence often
- My host father brought his eldest daughter and me to work and introduced me as “his other daughter”
- Surprisingly, I have become the tech guru at my school
- My sisters’ English is fluent and with a British accent