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“And this is the victory that conquers the world, our faith.” - 1st John 5:4b
This year, the people of South Africa have taught me the power of faith. Throughout my life, people have demonstrated the power of faith. Yet, this year, I have noticed how many South Africans I walk beside allow faith to be the driving force in their lives. Whether noticing faith playing such an important role in people’s lives is based on my own maturity and mindset, I am not sure. However, it does seem that faith conflicts with many ideals of American society: independence, control, and material wealth. Predominantly, I’ve questioned the American value of a sense of control. So often, I’ve place my knowledge and rationale in the navigating seat, moving faith to the backseat. If you want a job done right, you’ve got to do it yourself, right? Yet, in 1st John, John says that faith conquers the world. Faith is the true source of power. Do we truly think the good actions that come from us are our work alone? If all good comes from God, shouldn’t we want God in control? Are we putting aside our personal desires to allow the Spirit to move us? Why is faith’s power so difficult to believe?
Confusion spins my head; I paraphrase in shock what I just heard: “You’re giving a half hour message at church in an hour and a half and you don’t know what you’re going to talk about?” Londeka, my friend, replies, “How can I speak if he [God] hasn’t first spoken to me?” She makes a good point. Londeka continues to explain that she usually spends a full day with God in prayer to come up with a message, but the pastor had only asked her the night before and she had to work today. Initially, I couldn’t comprehend how Londeka had not figured out what to say- in my mind, she needed to know thoroughly what she would speak about in less than two hours. Yet, Londeka chose to have faith in God that he would guide her message. I may have chosen to push through a message, because providing a message was my responsibility. Londeka demonstrated the power of her faith as she truly trusted him to guide her.
One week at PACSA, I had no given tasks except to learn more about the organization. Although this may sound unproductive, this week was one of my most significant weeks at PACSA. God calls us in surprising ways. On each of the two days, a person shared with me scars from their past. Samantha* shared with me about how she was raped. I was only the fifth person Samantha had told about this life-changing event that happened years earlier. Michelle* told me about how her uncle, who served as her father figure, abused her into her twenties. At first glance, I do not see these women’s scars – I see their faith. These two women glow with a spiritual aura.
When I asked Michelle* where her faith comes from, she answered, “I’ve allowed God to bring his peace within me.” She humbly continued: “I guess the people that have everything going for them are less reliant on God.” I wonder if I have too much going for me. I believe being born into true wealth is primarily being born into a loving and supportive family. Material wealth is secondary. We say we want material comfort, yet, inherently having material comfort based on the family I was born into, I doubt that I truly appreciate the abundant gifts in my life. I can’t imagine growing up in an abusive environment. My stomach ties in knots just trying to imagine myself in an abusive situation. How does Michelle find the strength to be a glowing example of God’s love? This answer, perhaps, is inexplicable by reason: she has faith.
I asked Samantha why she has faith. She explained: “You first have faith,” then everything else will come by God’s power. Watching Samantha passionately describe her faith moves me. She is so down to earth that she speaks about faith in a way that I easily relate to my daily life. Sam stops me in my tracks when she states: “With faith we can say to God: we believe you even though the flesh says, ‘no, man, you’re being stupid.’” When’s the last time you did something the flesh, or the world, said was stupid because your faith moved you counter to the ways of the world?
Two weeks ago, three fellow YAGMs and I were withdrawing money in Maputo, the capital of Mozambique, for our week of vacation. That day, I wore a classic travel outfit- highlighting my long skirt covering my money/passport belt. After withdrawing money, I tried to discretely put my money and credit card in my money belt. As we started walking towards the market, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Instantly, the thought ran through my mind that the person who tapped me probably wanted to sell me something. I turned around anyway. A young man held out my credit card. My jaw dropped in shock. As I said thank you and took my card from his hand, my mind fumbled with what to do: give him money? I didn’t have anything with me of material value to give him. Yet, before I could collect myself, he swiftly turned and disappeared. Why did the man give me, a relatively wealthy, foreign, white person, back my credit card? It is experiences such as this that remind me that I am interconnected with others by something larger than myself.
My faith is affirmed every time someone squeezes my hand, lights up with a soul smile, and sings to glorify God without reservation. The people I’ve met in South Africa walk with a special light-a light that allows you to connect to the core of the person. The connection I’ve made with many people reinforces my faith in humanity, as God exists in every one of us. In a completely new community, culture, context, role, etc., I have had to trust God more this year and I feel that my trust in God has strengthened. Daily, I ask God to walk with me as I walk alongside the inspiring people of South Africa.
I have faith because I cannot believe that love is a mistake. I have faith because I cannot believe that this universe is solely a physical phenomenon. I have faith because I look into a person’s eyes and I see a soul. Life does not make sense to me in any other way but to live by faith.
God- Please help us allow you to fill us with your peace so that we may live faithful to you. Amen
*Pseudonyms are used in respect of the women
Showing posts with label April. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April. Show all posts
Monday, January 24, 2011
Faith in These Times, by Sakhile
Faith’s relevance has increased in this day and age. People more and more are leaning on their belief in someone or something. Or do they really believe? I don’t know if they are just consumed by the everyday struggles of life. All I know is that God’s Love is upon me and now, more than ever, I feel it because in the midst of this strife I can count my blessings. But what is faith to me? In Hebrews chapter 11, God plainly explains that faith is the confident belief in something unseen but bears the fruit of life. Faith is to draw enjoyment in the knowledge that God is here for me and his love endures all. I derive strength from God’s presence in my life, especially now, looking at the current state of economic affairs in my beautiful country, South Africa.
I have this feeling that I’m not where I’m supposed to be career wise, in my spiritual development and in my independence. The frustration is eating at me. I feel my spirit wants to jump out and do what I’m failing to do. I have the feeling that I should be asserting myself more at work, show more leadership at church and becoming my own man. I guess that’s how a lot of young South Africans feel when they are forced to work at a place that is not desirable, doing a job that they don’t enjoy. The economic recession was a painful period of lack for many, and still is, but brief in comparison to those of us who live in Africa with generational poverty. This time of despair really could drive one to lose one’s faith. Yet the opposite is true for Christians because we pray to a God who understands all our weaknesses, who has suffered for us. The story of Jesus, as it did to the first people who heard it, gives us the realization that suffering is for a moment and cannot compared to joy God has in store. The son of God made the greatest sacrifice for me, for us all. Why? Does God need as? The answer is no and that’s precisely why God did it: to show us his character. He is a God of compassion, grace and love. Knowing that side of God gives me strength to carry on, holding on to my dreams, pursuing them, even when people or circumstances say the opposite.
God’s character gives me faith, the awareness of his presence constantly. There are so many stories I can tell about the goodness he has shown. There is one I want to tell. Recently my brother and I were walking home from a movie when two guys came out from nowhere with knives and held us up. In the fear and confusion I saw my brother pulled to the side at knifepoint. The second confronted me with his hand hid behind his back as if at any time he’ll pull out a knife. We were near the highway and I just jumped over the railing shouting that my brother didn’t have anything, ignoring the guy in front of me, with the cars whizzing behind me. It was, I know, by the grace of God that he couldn’t find anything on my brother and left him alone. The thief must have been the leader because, without questions, the other guy followed. It was the first, and hopefully the last time, I faced crime. I said ‘God is great’ because anything could have happened that day.
I ask myself if all people see God when something great and unexplainable happens in their favor. The disciples did when Jesus was recruiting them. Simon Peter and his brother had been fishing all night, catching nothing. But when Jesus said drop your nets again they caught so much they couldn’t handle all the fish. Simon Peter saw God in that act and fell to his knees. There after, his life was changed. He recognized what happened was a miracle from God and repented. We see so much pain it is easy to lose the feeling of compassion for others. Until something unfortunate happens to you, then you learn the importance of compassion, because you know how it feels to go through hardship. I think that’s what God was showing me. God showed me that my life is in his hands and this gift could be taken away at any time.
I think, above all, faith is about stepping on the edge of life’s mountain and having no fear because you know the very creator of all has assured your safety. He has assured my safety in Jesus’ name. God love us all.
I have this feeling that I’m not where I’m supposed to be career wise, in my spiritual development and in my independence. The frustration is eating at me. I feel my spirit wants to jump out and do what I’m failing to do. I have the feeling that I should be asserting myself more at work, show more leadership at church and becoming my own man. I guess that’s how a lot of young South Africans feel when they are forced to work at a place that is not desirable, doing a job that they don’t enjoy. The economic recession was a painful period of lack for many, and still is, but brief in comparison to those of us who live in Africa with generational poverty. This time of despair really could drive one to lose one’s faith. Yet the opposite is true for Christians because we pray to a God who understands all our weaknesses, who has suffered for us. The story of Jesus, as it did to the first people who heard it, gives us the realization that suffering is for a moment and cannot compared to joy God has in store. The son of God made the greatest sacrifice for me, for us all. Why? Does God need as? The answer is no and that’s precisely why God did it: to show us his character. He is a God of compassion, grace and love. Knowing that side of God gives me strength to carry on, holding on to my dreams, pursuing them, even when people or circumstances say the opposite.
God’s character gives me faith, the awareness of his presence constantly. There are so many stories I can tell about the goodness he has shown. There is one I want to tell. Recently my brother and I were walking home from a movie when two guys came out from nowhere with knives and held us up. In the fear and confusion I saw my brother pulled to the side at knifepoint. The second confronted me with his hand hid behind his back as if at any time he’ll pull out a knife. We were near the highway and I just jumped over the railing shouting that my brother didn’t have anything, ignoring the guy in front of me, with the cars whizzing behind me. It was, I know, by the grace of God that he couldn’t find anything on my brother and left him alone. The thief must have been the leader because, without questions, the other guy followed. It was the first, and hopefully the last time, I faced crime. I said ‘God is great’ because anything could have happened that day.
I ask myself if all people see God when something great and unexplainable happens in their favor. The disciples did when Jesus was recruiting them. Simon Peter and his brother had been fishing all night, catching nothing. But when Jesus said drop your nets again they caught so much they couldn’t handle all the fish. Simon Peter saw God in that act and fell to his knees. There after, his life was changed. He recognized what happened was a miracle from God and repented. We see so much pain it is easy to lose the feeling of compassion for others. Until something unfortunate happens to you, then you learn the importance of compassion, because you know how it feels to go through hardship. I think that’s what God was showing me. God showed me that my life is in his hands and this gift could be taken away at any time.
I think, above all, faith is about stepping on the edge of life’s mountain and having no fear because you know the very creator of all has assured your safety. He has assured my safety in Jesus’ name. God love us all.
My God is a Poet, by Sakhile
My God is a poet
His poems can be seen in the stories of people’s lives,
Jesus is his pen,
The Holy Spirit his ink,
The beauty of which cannot be measured,
He writes about the pain and adversary faced by others
And victory over it though faith.
Our stories of faith.
His writings are on the faces of beaten and raped women,
Who goes to see her offender in jail,
Prays for him.
It’s in the eyes of a father who opens his arms
To huge a child that has misbehaved had gotten AIDS.
His in the hands of Christians that have gone out to a poor
Community and started foods gardens.
He has written so much in the bible and
Now in our lives he writes such inspirational poetry
That no one can ignore, it is seen in all creation,
The undeniable master of all is poet.
His poems can be seen in the stories of people’s lives,
Jesus is his pen,
The Holy Spirit his ink,
The beauty of which cannot be measured,
He writes about the pain and adversary faced by others
And victory over it though faith.
Our stories of faith.
His writings are on the faces of beaten and raped women,
Who goes to see her offender in jail,
Prays for him.
It’s in the eyes of a father who opens his arms
To huge a child that has misbehaved had gotten AIDS.
His in the hands of Christians that have gone out to a poor
Community and started foods gardens.
He has written so much in the bible and
Now in our lives he writes such inspirational poetry
That no one can ignore, it is seen in all creation,
The undeniable master of all is poet.
Faith, by Andile (Sakhile's Brother)
Inside I see stronger motives to live.
The force of gravity is much less than the strength of this depth.
In finding it, I find peace of the mind.
Pain tests the durability of these walls
And halls of safety that I sleep on.
My pillow of restful cloud in a world of storms.
I see him in it, I see him with it.
Faith like glass goggles protecting my eyes,
Projecting my vision to the dream of God’s promise.
The force of gravity is much less than the strength of this depth.
In finding it, I find peace of the mind.
Pain tests the durability of these walls
And halls of safety that I sleep on.
My pillow of restful cloud in a world of storms.
I see him in it, I see him with it.
Faith like glass goggles protecting my eyes,
Projecting my vision to the dream of God’s promise.
Questioning my YAGM Service
I questioned if God truly called me to serve through YAGM when the youth group I started fell apart. At the beginning of my YAGM service, Dean Myaka wanted me to start and lead a youth group. I clearly remember at YAGM orientation hearing that we should never be in charge of groups of people for long-term projects. Yet, here I was, meeting the person who organized my placement, and he requests I lead a youth group. I love Bible studies and groups based on Christ’s love. As a camp counselor for two summers, I had experience leading Bible studies. At the time, I didn’t think of the request as contrary to YAGM guidelines; I thought of how to start overcoming the challenges of starting a youth group. Yet, I understand, from experience, why YAGM advises us against leading groups of people, due to challenges in moving past cultural differences, power dynamics, and the relatively short amount of time in the community.
We started meeting as a youth group weekly starting on Halloween. None of the participants (two sets of sisters who are cousins and a male neighbor) had ever participated in a small group Bible study. We took a one-month break around Christmas and had a retreat mid-January. Within twenty-four hours of the beginning of the retreat, four of the five people had reasons to be late, not to come, or came an hour late, although they all came. None of the parents could drive us to another place, so I held worship in the sugarcane field. I think they were moved by what I gave as the message. Yet, they talked more about celebrities than about God. Finally, when we were about halfway through the retreat and our hearts just didn’t seem focused on God, I felt like we should stop the retreat. I didn’t feel like the Spirit was moving through the activities, but more so I felt that I was fighting the energy of the youth. I asked if anyone wanted to continue. No one spoke up to continue, but my eldest host sister decided she was done and started talking with her friend who was hanging out a dozen feet away. The youth seemed a bit confused and we hung out outside for a while longer. That night, I tried to search for the answer to whether I had done the right thing or even if I was in the right place. I felt deflated, but God nudged me on.
The next day, so as to show the youth that I hadn’t given up on them, I gave them an empowering quote by Nelson Mandela and future youth group activity dates. I spent the afternoon at the other pair of sisters’ house. I talked with my host sisters about how they thought things went; they said the retreat was cool and that they would try to focus their energy more. Yet, future meetings were not to be. The other set of sisters moved to Durban (an hour and a half away) to go to school. One host sister switched to a more intense school. The other host sister started a job. The male continued his job. I knew that the youth had gotten something out of the youth group, but I also could feel it was time to let the youth group go. Letting the youth group end was difficult for me. I do not like to fail at leading group activities and I wonder what I could have done better to inspire them. Yet, I did my best and I tried to follow the Spirit. While the youth group was falling apart, God kept sending me signs of how I was positively impacting other people. When I tried to reconnect with God after the youth retreat, I felt an inner peace while worshiping alone in the sugarcane fields. Although we may fail by worldly standards, God continues to work through us in our brokenness, beyond our understanding. What we may set as our goals may not be God’s goals. The power of God’s love cannot be measured.
We started meeting as a youth group weekly starting on Halloween. None of the participants (two sets of sisters who are cousins and a male neighbor) had ever participated in a small group Bible study. We took a one-month break around Christmas and had a retreat mid-January. Within twenty-four hours of the beginning of the retreat, four of the five people had reasons to be late, not to come, or came an hour late, although they all came. None of the parents could drive us to another place, so I held worship in the sugarcane field. I think they were moved by what I gave as the message. Yet, they talked more about celebrities than about God. Finally, when we were about halfway through the retreat and our hearts just didn’t seem focused on God, I felt like we should stop the retreat. I didn’t feel like the Spirit was moving through the activities, but more so I felt that I was fighting the energy of the youth. I asked if anyone wanted to continue. No one spoke up to continue, but my eldest host sister decided she was done and started talking with her friend who was hanging out a dozen feet away. The youth seemed a bit confused and we hung out outside for a while longer. That night, I tried to search for the answer to whether I had done the right thing or even if I was in the right place. I felt deflated, but God nudged me on.
The next day, so as to show the youth that I hadn’t given up on them, I gave them an empowering quote by Nelson Mandela and future youth group activity dates. I spent the afternoon at the other pair of sisters’ house. I talked with my host sisters about how they thought things went; they said the retreat was cool and that they would try to focus their energy more. Yet, future meetings were not to be. The other set of sisters moved to Durban (an hour and a half away) to go to school. One host sister switched to a more intense school. The other host sister started a job. The male continued his job. I knew that the youth had gotten something out of the youth group, but I also could feel it was time to let the youth group go. Letting the youth group end was difficult for me. I do not like to fail at leading group activities and I wonder what I could have done better to inspire them. Yet, I did my best and I tried to follow the Spirit. While the youth group was falling apart, God kept sending me signs of how I was positively impacting other people. When I tried to reconnect with God after the youth retreat, I felt an inner peace while worshiping alone in the sugarcane fields. Although we may fail by worldly standards, God continues to work through us in our brokenness, beyond our understanding. What we may set as our goals may not be God’s goals. The power of God’s love cannot be measured.
April Snapshots
- Hagen family adventure: Cape Town (Botanical Gardens; Dad, Ted and I jogged downtown; Cape Peninsula; climbed Table Mountain); boat ride through Santa Lucia wetlands; Hluhluwe (game drives, Nyala spotting, horse ride to investigate fossils, dung beetle observing, elephants); car ride through KwaZulu-Natal interior visiting Umphumulo to meet fellow YAGM, Kristen, and Cool Air to meet my host family; stop at PACSA to meet co-workers and advisor, Mervyn; attend four hour Maundy Thursday service; hike in Drakensburg with, fellow YAGMs, Kristen and John; and finally back to my host community, Cool Air, for a walk, braai (grill out), egg dying and two more services, including Easter Sunday, with my host family
- Bopha Siyakhona (a soccer camp, inspired by the FIFA World Cup, with youth from South Africa, Germany, DRC, and more) at Hilton College with PACSA
- HIV/AIDS Launch at Umphumulo
- Mozambique vacation, including meeting the US Public Affairs Officer in Mozambique and the Country Director of Mozambique for Samaritan’s Purse International Relief
- Attended the funeral and memorial service of my former fellow teacher
- Bopha Siyakhona (a soccer camp, inspired by the FIFA World Cup, with youth from South Africa, Germany, DRC, and more) at Hilton College with PACSA
- HIV/AIDS Launch at Umphumulo
- Mozambique vacation, including meeting the US Public Affairs Officer in Mozambique and the Country Director of Mozambique for Samaritan’s Purse International Relief
- Attended the funeral and memorial service of my former fellow teacher
April Sound Bytes
“We have been called in order to be sent.” – Dean Myaka
“It’s what keeps us going: hope.” – Dean Myaka
“We are all out.” – A Southeastern Diocese Young Adults member on the positive intensity of the group
“Money talks; bullshit walks.” – A safari guide on how some Hluhluwe administrators sold animals from the park for personal profit
“O God, you claim me as your partner, respecting me, trusting me, tussling with me. Support me as I dare to take risks with you, so together we may transform the world. Amen.” – Bridget Rees; Christian AID; Genesis 32:22-32
“Those who find themselves must first be willing to lose themselves… encounters with God take place when we set out in a direction we hadn’t planned to take and are willing to give up going where we intended to go.” –Renita Weems
“Fight the good fight of the faith; take hold of the eternal life, to which you were called and for which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” – 1 Timothy 6:12
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2
“The only thing that counts is faith working through love.” – Galatians 5:6
“It’s what keeps us going: hope.” – Dean Myaka
“We are all out.” – A Southeastern Diocese Young Adults member on the positive intensity of the group
“Money talks; bullshit walks.” – A safari guide on how some Hluhluwe administrators sold animals from the park for personal profit
“O God, you claim me as your partner, respecting me, trusting me, tussling with me. Support me as I dare to take risks with you, so together we may transform the world. Amen.” – Bridget Rees; Christian AID; Genesis 32:22-32
“Those who find themselves must first be willing to lose themselves… encounters with God take place when we set out in a direction we hadn’t planned to take and are willing to give up going where we intended to go.” –Renita Weems
“Fight the good fight of the faith; take hold of the eternal life, to which you were called and for which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” – 1 Timothy 6:12
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2
“The only thing that counts is faith working through love.” – Galatians 5:6
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